Better than porn: CUPCAKES

While googling pics of cupcakes, Ajumma stumbled across Cupcakes Take the Cake, a.k.a. the best blog ever. This site has it all...photos of homemade cupcakes, professionally made cupcakes, cupcake books, cupcake t-shirts, updates about business that make cupcakes...it's incredible! There's a tad too many posts featuring Martha Stewart, but I suppose that can't be helped. You deserve a calorie-free treat. Get yours at Cupcakes Take the Cake.

Emo pants make Ajumma cry

Ever seen teens in your town lounging about in skinny jeans? I like to call them "Emo jeans," because the kids who wear them tend to be into Emo music. The jeans are low and tight in the butt, tight through the thigh and extra tight through the calves. They're basically demin tights. They only look good on anorexic British women. And yet, I've found it's mainly overweight teen girls and teen boys of all sizes that wear them.

When I see young guys in emo jeans, I feel like I am doing them a disservice by not telling them that women aren't likely to flock to a man in leggings...unless that man is Mick Jaggar.

Great White sharks at Huntington Beach?

By Susannah Rosenblatt, Los Angeles Times, March 29, 2008

Just who do those deadly looking fins slicing the waters off Huntington Beach belong to? Rumors of great white shark sightings along the Southern California coast in recent weeks are the buzz of the beach, leaving a few surfers spooked.

Tom Larkin is convinced that a shark jolted his surfboard and left what looks like a bite mark on the back end while he waited for a wave in the waters near Bolsa Chica State Beach earlier this month. After paddling in as his damaged surfboard took on water, the 26-year-old stock analyst from Manhattan Beach said he "proceeded to freak out in the parking lot. I don't know what else it could have been." But Huntington Beach lifeguards dismiss the reports as hogwash -- even though great whites have been spotted in the area in years past." As far as we know, there's not any evidence there's great whites in our vicinity," said marine safety officer Steve Reuter of the Huntington Beach city lifeguards. And Los Angeles County lifeguard patrols haven't recorded any unusual sightings, said Capt. Terry Harvey. "It's springtime; people are saying 'shark' and they're freaking out," Reuter said. He said surfers and swimmers are more likely to encounter less-dangerous thresher, blue or nurse sharks. In other words: "I would call it shenanigans."

Reuter's only recent shark-related incident was an injured 3-foot mako shark that washed ashore, thrashing around in pain. After bystanders tried to pet the dying animal -- which normally stays in deep water -- lifeguards had to destroy it, he said.A nonprofit research website lists four eyewitness reports of shark sightings this month -- in Huntington Beach, Santa Monica and San Onofre State Beach, most of which is in San Diego County. But "dolphins are easily mistaken by the untrained eye" for sharks, and migrating whales are on the move, said Joe Milligan, park superintendent at Huntington and Bolsa Chica state beaches. Although no employees or visitors have reported spotting sharks, "the fact of the matter is, the ocean is full of all kinds of creatures and it's healthy," Milligan said. "That's where they're supposed to be."And the surfing competition underway this week at the Huntington Beach Pier is in full swing, undeterred by gossip of predator-infested waters.

Alison Sheltrown, a marketing manager for Surfline.com, has another theory: The rumors, she said, are just a ploy "to keep everyone out of the water because it's spring break." Local surfers, she said, want to keep the waves for themselves.

Update: A shark attacked a swimmer near Solana Beach a few weeks after this article was written. The swimmer ended up dying. I guess the surfers were right afterall! Man eats fish and fish eat men. Amazing world we live in.

Men who look like old lesbians

It's hard to have this freaky picture of Penn Jillette on my blog, but Keith from Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians really hit the nail on the head with this one.

Spot the Beastie Boys

"Paper Planes," by Sri Lankan artist M.I.A., is officially stuck in my head, despite the offputting gunshots in the chorus. This video, filmed in NYC, features cameos by Ad-Rock and Mike D. of the Beastie Boys. Blink (as I first did) and you may miss them.

"Re-touch My Body" by Mariah Carey

Who does Mariah Carey's record label think they're fooling? Maybe if someone came out of a prolonged coma, this week, they would believe the diva looked like the picture on the right. That's Mariah's promotional photo for her single "Touch My Body." It's so photoshopped that it doesn't even look anatomically correct.

Clones Vol. 9: Fred and Marsha's moles

Marsha Williams (who just announced her divorce from comedian Robin Williams, her husband of 18 years) has a mountain of a mole on her face, almost as big as the one sported by Fred Savage's character in Austin Powers: Goldmember.

Chimp beaten on set?

We see Rain and we see the Mach 5, but where's Speed's chimp? He's probably in the back being beaten by his animal handler. A spokesperson for Warner Bros. has confirmed that a chimp being used in the new live-action version of Speed Racer bit an actor during production. PETA learned that the chimp was then beaten because of the incident, and has formally complained to the studio about the inhumane conditions and handling on set. Warner Bros. spokesperson said PETA should just mind their own business.

The chimp's handler better watch his back. Chimpanzees are smart suckers! They have outscored humans on memory tests. This chimp might decide he's had enough beatings and floor the Mach 5 right over his handler, if given the chance.

Peeps Show

The Washington Post recently sponsored a diorama contest requiring contestants to use Marshmellow Peeps in their designs. The Post expected a dozen or so submissions and felt mighty shocked when 350 dioramas rolled in from across the country, and from a solider in Afghanistan. See the glorious Peep dioramas here and here.

Best damn show on TV: Rob and Big

I'll never forget peering at an American paper while living in Korea and seeing the #1 movie in the United States was Dude, Where's My Car. I felt SO GLAD to be residing overseas and nowhere near schlock containing the word "dude." For this reason, I feel a little silly touting my new favorite TV show, Rob and Big.

PLOT: Rob Dyrdek is a professional skateboarder and verbose showboat. Big Black (aka Chris Boykin) is his straight-talking, I'll try anything once-bodyguard. They live together in a L.A. pad and get into some crazy hijinks every episode. It's a reality TV show that Big Black admits is not completely real. Regardless, Rob and Big reminds me of an amusement park ride whose specs are a bit off, resulting is a frantic yet exhilarating ride. I am especially fond of Big Black, who tells it like it is. Getting dressed up to be on their own cereal box (after getting no response from Kashi), Big applies red lipstick and says, "I hope I don't get beat up in the streets for this."

Rob & Big repeats are on MTV all week.

I'm too dumb to operate an iPod

I had big plans to throw my newly purchased iPod across the customer service area of Best Buy, today. Two days of frustration over not getting it to sync properly reaked havoc on my sunny disposition. I wanted it all to play out in a dramatic display with the Apple product sailing through the air. Alas, I realized I'd get better service if I wasn't a raving lunatic.

Best Buy accepted my return without question. The Geek Squad guy pushed some buttons and furrowed his brow on how this new Apple product failed so miserably. A Best Buy employee found me, later, browsing at their other MP3 players and suggested I reexamine my iPod's default settings, since it's set up to use as little memory as possible. $230 dollars and an iPod later, I discovered the guy was right. Apple 1. Ajumma 0.

Arrest warrant: Shia LaBeouf

Insano California issued an arrest warrant for actor Shia LaBeouf, today. Shia received a citation for unlawful smoking (which is apparently a misdemeanor) while smoking outside a Burbank boutique on February 18. Shia was to appear in court at 8:30 AM, today, but neither he or his lawyer showed appeared, so a $1,000 bench warrant was issued for his arrest.

An arrest for outdoor smoking? It's not like he was smoking outside a preschool playground or into the faces of defenseless puppies. What is California's problem? Why don't they go chase real criminals like gangbangers and workers comp cheats? I've been away from Cali for a year and they STILL send notices (addressed to me in Minnesota) threatening to sue me for not renewing my car insurance within their state.

Car show! Car show! Car show!

What do you get when you mix thousands of Minnesotans who have just endured 4 months of sub-zero temperatures with hundreds of gleaming, new automobiles? You get the Twin Cities Auto Show! Ajumma and hubby methodically trekked through the convention center, yesterday, to see the car industry's offerings. Here are some highlights:

- Ajumma easily could have driven away in a new 2-door VW Rabbit, despite hubby's protests that VW makes unreliable cars

- Two Porsches on the floor already had "SOLD" signs on them

- Nissan displayed their silver $70,000 Z model, whose engine runs over 400 HP!

- Honda, Lexus, and Infiniti manual models didn't feature shifter knobs, since people like to unscrew and steal them at car shows

- Ajumma's hubby scored himself a knit cap for correctly naming all 3 Scion models
- Toyota earned my "Most Attractive Spokespeople" award at the show--mainly women of color in short, red leather belted jackets, black shirts, and stilletto boots

- Hyundai gave away mystery packages that were 90% waste, 5% giant poster, and 5% delicious bottled water

- All ages, colors, and races turned out for the show--and everyone had fun (even the babies in strollers).

- Next up: Hot Import Night on Saturday, September 27, 2008 @ the Minneapolis Convention Center

Walker & Diesel in "The Fast & Furious 4"

Good lord, I am totally out of the loop. Paul Walker and Vin Diesel are apparently filming the 4th sequel to the movie, The Fast & the Furious. This past week they were photographed on set in Los Angeles. The movie, directed by Justin Lin, is due out summer 2009 and also stars Sung Kang.

Paul Walker, you look good in those Pumas. I'm glad it's a fork in your hand and not a cigarette. Vin, you've been away too long (and by too long, I mean making crappy movies like The Pacifier and Find Me Guilty). Photos courtesy of ridiculously fantastic site, ohlalamag.com

Bale and ShoWest in Vegas

Christian Bale, Maggie Gyllenhall, and The Dark Knight director, Chris Nolan, came out to promote their new flick at ShoWest in Las Vegas, on March 13. The movie's promo included a special clip dedicated to late actor Heath Ledger who appears in The Dark Knight as the Joker. Of his co-star, Bale said, "I hope that this can be seen as a celebration of his work."

Bale also mingled with Into the Wild star, Emile Hirsch, who recently wrapped up the live-action version of Speed Racer. Ajumma never realized Emile was so short...even in vertical stripes! Photos courtesy of christian-bale.org

Am I dreaming this?

If you've ever driven from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, you've seen the old abandoned water park on Highway 15 near Barstow, California. It sits like a dusty Emerald City, a tangle of taunting useless slides in the middle of the dry, scorching desert. Well, apparently Rob Dyrdek and his friends couldn't pass on the opportunity to tear it up in the park during their last trip to Vegas.
Watch the video of the boys taking on Rock-a-Hoola here.

Classic Korean butt

Flat as a mat. The truth hurts sometimes.

"All aboard!"

A comedian once asked why hybrid cars look like gay space ships. I wonder this too. Last night, I took my first ever ride in a Toyota Prius Hybrid. Here's a superficial breakdown of the experience:


1. Rather than cranking a key, the Prius features a power button.

2. The Prius has a little knob that your finger nudges to activate drive and reverse.

3. To park, you push another button, also on the dash.

4. A screen on the dashboard shows consumption and other electronic messages. This was just too much information for me!

5. Priuses have rear view cameras to prevent you from running over your neighbor's kids and your recycling cans.

The idea of shifting my car with my finger seems a bit crazy to me, but it's hard to argue with good gas mileage. All in all I enjoyed my close encounter of the third kind.

I seriously thought this was Webster!

A trillion years ago on Baywatch there was an Australian lifeguard character named Logan. Well, turns out Logan is a gay. He's a gay with a partner and a future Ugandan son. When I saw the photo, above, I thought it was a Logan, his partner, and '80s actor Emmanuel Lewis. Then I remembered that much like Ajumma, Webster's been hitting the Girl Scout cookies too hard and is a bit thicker through his middle.

That's how they roll

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A Russian tank crashed through a villager's house after the crew stopped to buy vodka at a nearby shop. Footage from a mobile phone camera showed a laughing, and apparently drunk, driver awkwardly trying to clamber aboard with two bottles of vodka and the tank hitting the house.

"Get him out of the tank," screamed a woman in the village in the Urals. The army promised Friday to pay compensation and said the tank must have been broken and fallen behind a column heading to a test site for exercises. Earlier it said the vehicle slid on melting ice.

"Of course, there were violations but the crew acted in good faith to catch up with its unit," said Colonel Konstantin Lazutkin, spokesman for Russia's Volga-Urals Military District.

"Thank God, they didn't shoot," the house owner said on the video.

Heh, heh. I love how they were like, "The tank slid on ice--I mean, it malfunctioned. Sorry." I can only laugh because the tank did not hit my house. My head would have exploded if that happened. See video of the fallout, here.

Converse One Stars at Target

Good old Converse, as American as apple pie. No arch or heel support, but spunky all the same. I own a pair of rare, green suede One Stars. I call them rare because frankly no one else in their right mind would be seen in them. They weigh a ton and I have to wear them with cushioned insoles, because my ajumma joints won't tolerate the lack of support.

Perhaps you've heard Target stores now sell Converse clothing and One Star shoes. I checked it out on Friday night. The shoes are a dumbed down, cheapened version of their original One Stars. The slip-ons are half decent with metal shoelace rings (the tie-ons don't have them), but I am not a faux shoelace-less, slip-on kind of girl. Target wanted $30 for these shoes. I'd pay no more than $10. They look like the kind of shoes you'd see piled in groups of 300 at swap meets. Now their black suede men's skate shoe is another story. These babies have some substance to them, and while I cannot imagine someone doing tricks with so little heel support, they're pretty comfortable! I snatched up a pair for myself. As far Converse's clothing, they look nice on the models, but doesn't everything?

Dude's not Asian

Today my coworker and I were chatting about how we both watch "Project Runway" at the gym. Coworker said the last episode she saw, Christian the Asian guy won his competition and moved on to Fashion Week. WAIT A MINUTE. I told her nicely and casually that Christian is not Asian. Here's where it got funny: My coworker, who puts the "A" in Anglo and resembles the blonde below, looked at me incredulously and said, "What makes you say he's not Asian?" Wow. "The same way I look at you and can tell you're not Asian," I answered.

I proceeded to Google Christian so my coworker could take a second look at him. Upon seeing him again she said she couldn't figure out why she thought Christian was Asian. I think I know why. Christian looks like one of those nerdy Asian characters in 1980's movies. Sigh.

T-shirt of the month

Razor Ramon is working for the weekend

Waking up with Geraldo Rivera

This morning I awoke to the sounds of Geraldo Rivera being interviewed on National Public Radio about his new book, Hispanic. Geraldo grew up in New York in the 1970s, the son of a Jewish mother and Puerto Rican father. Describing his book, Rivera says, "it is one of my proudest achievements because it exposes how the hysterical anti-immigration propaganda campaign that has infected our nation's political dialogue is based on lies and distortion, false statistics and race-baiting."

What a hot button topic! Living near Los Angeles during the immigration reform votes of 2006, I remember Latino students marching out of their high schools and across cities in protest. Some were true activists and others simply wanted out of class. One of my colleagues at the time came to the U.S. as a child, as an undocumented Mexican immigrant. As a young adult she was accepted to UCLA and earned her Ph.D. When the high school students marched past my office window she rushed to my desk and watched excitedly. She joined them later at a rally, and told them how years ago she wouldn't have dared speak out in a crowd because she lived in fear. But now she now wanted to put a face on the topic of illegal immigration, because that's what she felt was being lost in the controversy--the people and their stories.

I hate Margaret Cho.

Margaret Cho has passed over to the other side and abandoned her chubby Asian sisters. At some point the Goddess (how I used to lovingly refer to her) discovered in this capitalist country you don't have to eat until your stomach bleeds. You can always get more food at any given moment. That's great for Margaret, but I still have the mentality of a cavewoman who has stumbled a box of Girl Scout Cookies and doesn't know when her next meal of gazelle will come. In fact, I've been living on a steady diet of cookies since my Girl Scout order came in two weeks ago. Upon seeing my truckload of cookie boxes, Ajumma's hubby exclaimed, "Do you think we're made of money?!" Apparently $17.00 of cookies is a little extreme to him. Well, the fallout has begun. My skin is breaking out from all the processed sugar and today I had to cut my usual 2 mile run short from fatigue.

This evening Margaret shoved her knife a little deeper into my back when she blogged about her perfect skin. She says, "I have beautiful, amazing, incandescently glowing and mostly clear skin, and I try really hard to get it that way. Skin is totally important to me." Yeah, skin is important to me, too. I really need it so my muscles and tissue don't fall out and slosh all over the ground! Too bad it won't stay clear for longer than a week!!! Anyway, kudos to Cho for loving dogs and for having a pro-PETA stance. But it's sure hard to relate to a popular, skinny Korean girl with incandescant skin.

The Bad Plus in Japan

The Bad Plus played 3 shows in Japan, February 19-21. One cannot deny this show must have been extra fun with these 3 fans in the audience.

I think Taaschen should create a coffee table book made up of bad English translations from foreign countries. It would sell millions.

Home & Garden Show report: Lee Snijders

Yesterday, Ajumma made her way through Minneapolis' Home & Garden show. It was the usual mix of window booths and landscaping vendors, and the only thing we ended up buying was a hand-held tape applicator for painting. The real draw to the H&G show was to see "Design on a Dime" host Lee Snijders, who did a promo on breaking the rules of design. Though we showed up minutes before he appeared, we walked to the front of the stage and spotted two chairs dead center. What a coup! Lee came out and was full of energy. He looks more handsome in person than on TV, which is the same thing I thought about Vern Yip when we saw him at last year's show. Lee fielded questions from the crowd and then launched into thoughts such as:

- Dark colors create depth and therefore make rooms seem bigger, not smaller (I'm not sure if I agree with this one)
- Accessories are the fastest way to change a room's appearance
- Paint is the cheapest way to change a room's appearance
- Plants are the quickest way to warm up a room
- Put real plants on eye level and silk plants on upper levels (Ajumma generally says NO to fake plants, because fake and dead plants don't give off chi.)

Lee also talked about how to select paint colors for rooms. Here's what drew the largest laugh from the crowd: Lee said when selecting a color for your bathroom you should select the opposite color of your hair. Hmm. Lee also said:

- He has broken his arm twice during "Design on a Dime," both from skateboarding accidents
- He has adopted two dogs, so now his house is full of dog hair
- Unlike many other home makeover shows, after the cameras stop rolling DOAD lets homeowners keep everything the crew has made or purchased for the episode
- Alot of the stars of reality homeshows, these days, are not designers or carpenters, but actors. I suspect he was specifically referencing Carter Oosterhouse of "Trading Spaces" and "Carter Can."

Lee, Summer, and Charles wrapped up their last episode of "Design on a Dime" last October. Lee is now filming webisodes of his reality design series, "Real Lee TV," which are pretty cool. Watch his series promo here!

Pedigree Adoption Drive - Echo

Oh man. This ad made me bawl.