Hips don't lie

Last summer I took up running. I aimed to run one mile in 10 minutes. I was spurred on by the fact my husband signed me up for his company fun-run, which consisted of a 2 mile course and lots of his coworkers. At that stage in my life I was as sedentary as a rock. I hadn't run more than a mile in 16 years. I started training by only running in the pitch dark of night. I huffed and puffed and complained alot. But I grew to love running for all the crazy reasons runners do.

Earlier this week my hips gave out during a routine 5 mile run. According to my running book, the condition is called Hip Bursitis, aggravated and sometimes caused by sitting in the same position for long periods. I first noticed the pain last month at work where I sit in a chair FOR HOURS. My book goes on to say the only treatment is to stop running until the pain subsides, and that Hip Bursitis cannot be run off.

This feels like a death knell! It's especially disappointing because A. I feel I finally making progress and B. the weather is getting nice, and now I have to see lots of runners enjoying themselves outside. I have to remind myself that I am still a runner, just an injured one. Until I heal, you might not see me posting like I usually do, since it's killing my hips to sit here.

Better than porn: CUPCAKES

While googling pics of cupcakes, Ajumma stumbled across Cupcakes Take the Cake, a.k.a. the best blog ever. This site has it all...photos of homemade cupcakes, professionally made cupcakes, cupcake books, cupcake t-shirts, updates about business that make cupcakes...it's incredible! There's a tad too many posts featuring Martha Stewart, but I suppose that can't be helped. You deserve a calorie-free treat. Get yours at Cupcakes Take the Cake.

Emo pants make Ajumma cry

Ever seen teens in your town lounging about in skinny jeans? I like to call them "Emo jeans," because the kids who wear them tend to be into Emo music. The jeans are low and tight in the butt, tight through the thigh and extra tight through the calves. They're basically demin tights. They only look good on anorexic British women. And yet, I've found it's mainly overweight teen girls and teen boys of all sizes that wear them.

When I see young guys in emo jeans, I feel like I am doing them a disservice by not telling them that women aren't likely to flock to a man in leggings...unless that man is Mick Jaggar.

Great White sharks at Huntington Beach?

By Susannah Rosenblatt, Los Angeles Times, March 29, 2008

Just who do those deadly looking fins slicing the waters off Huntington Beach belong to? Rumors of great white shark sightings along the Southern California coast in recent weeks are the buzz of the beach, leaving a few surfers spooked.

Tom Larkin is convinced that a shark jolted his surfboard and left what looks like a bite mark on the back end while he waited for a wave in the waters near Bolsa Chica State Beach earlier this month. After paddling in as his damaged surfboard took on water, the 26-year-old stock analyst from Manhattan Beach said he "proceeded to freak out in the parking lot. I don't know what else it could have been." But Huntington Beach lifeguards dismiss the reports as hogwash -- even though great whites have been spotted in the area in years past." As far as we know, there's not any evidence there's great whites in our vicinity," said marine safety officer Steve Reuter of the Huntington Beach city lifeguards. And Los Angeles County lifeguard patrols haven't recorded any unusual sightings, said Capt. Terry Harvey. "It's springtime; people are saying 'shark' and they're freaking out," Reuter said. He said surfers and swimmers are more likely to encounter less-dangerous thresher, blue or nurse sharks. In other words: "I would call it shenanigans."

Reuter's only recent shark-related incident was an injured 3-foot mako shark that washed ashore, thrashing around in pain. After bystanders tried to pet the dying animal -- which normally stays in deep water -- lifeguards had to destroy it, he said.A nonprofit research website lists four eyewitness reports of shark sightings this month -- in Huntington Beach, Santa Monica and San Onofre State Beach, most of which is in San Diego County. But "dolphins are easily mistaken by the untrained eye" for sharks, and migrating whales are on the move, said Joe Milligan, park superintendent at Huntington and Bolsa Chica state beaches. Although no employees or visitors have reported spotting sharks, "the fact of the matter is, the ocean is full of all kinds of creatures and it's healthy," Milligan said. "That's where they're supposed to be."And the surfing competition underway this week at the Huntington Beach Pier is in full swing, undeterred by gossip of predator-infested waters.

Alison Sheltrown, a marketing manager for Surfline.com, has another theory: The rumors, she said, are just a ploy "to keep everyone out of the water because it's spring break." Local surfers, she said, want to keep the waves for themselves.

Update: A shark attacked a swimmer near Solana Beach a few weeks after this article was written. The swimmer ended up dying. I guess the surfers were right afterall! Man eats fish and fish eat men. Amazing world we live in.

Men who look like old lesbians

It's hard to have this freaky picture of Penn Jillette on my blog, but Keith from Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians really hit the nail on the head with this one.

Spot the Beastie Boys

"Paper Planes," by Sri Lankan artist M.I.A., is officially stuck in my head, despite the offputting gunshots in the chorus. This video, filmed in NYC, features cameos by Ad-Rock and Mike D. of the Beastie Boys. Blink (as I first did) and you may miss them.

"Re-touch My Body" by Mariah Carey

Who does Mariah Carey's record label think they're fooling? Maybe if someone came out of a prolonged coma, this week, they would believe the diva looked like the picture on the right. That's Mariah's promotional photo for her single "Touch My Body." It's so photoshopped that it doesn't even look anatomically correct.

Clones Vol. 9: Fred and Marsha's moles

Marsha Williams (who just announced her divorce from comedian Robin Williams, her husband of 18 years) has a mountain of a mole on her face, almost as big as the one sported by Fred Savage's character in Austin Powers: Goldmember.

Chimp beaten on set?

We see Rain and we see the Mach 5, but where's Speed's chimp? He's probably in the back being beaten by his animal handler. A spokesperson for Warner Bros. has confirmed that a chimp being used in the new live-action version of Speed Racer bit an actor during production. PETA learned that the chimp was then beaten because of the incident, and has formally complained to the studio about the inhumane conditions and handling on set. Warner Bros. spokesperson said PETA should just mind their own business.

The chimp's handler better watch his back. Chimpanzees are smart suckers! They have outscored humans on memory tests. This chimp might decide he's had enough beatings and floor the Mach 5 right over his handler, if given the chance.

Peeps Show

The Washington Post recently sponsored a diorama contest requiring contestants to use Marshmellow Peeps in their designs. The Post expected a dozen or so submissions and felt mighty shocked when 350 dioramas rolled in from across the country, and from a solider in Afghanistan. See the glorious Peep dioramas here and here.