Tuesday, January 22, 2008

"I Hate Rap Fashion" by Sergio Ornelas

Designer streetwear is a crock of shit created for bitchmade jackoffs too scared to decide what's cool for themselves. I don't give a fuck if you like shoes or fancy shirts; what's stupid is that this whole style jacked from poor kids in the 'hood trying to rock fly shit is now some bullshit bourgeois style pandering to rich white mediocre skaters who daydream about doing graffiti somewhere besides their shitty notebooks.

Go camp out at fucking Niketown again, you fucking nerds. Yeah, you're so fucking hip-hop you stood in line at a fucking boutique so some douchebag could sell you bullshit shoes just so you can drive your parents' luxury cars in style. I hope you stand proud in your limited-edition Kmart hoodie. You cockshits pay fuckheads like Pharrell and the Billionaire Boys Club fuckin' $300 for a goddamn Fruit of the Loom sweatshirt with a shitty drawing of a fucking ice cream cone on it. Motherfuckers can't even sew, and they're getting idiot kids to shell out a grip of dollars for a shitty silkscreen? What the fuck is wrong with people? Fucking shit-ass so-called designers trying to jack that whole hip-hop/street aesthetic to sell a couple shirts with lame-as-fuck graphics.

I don't give a fuck about people paying way too much money for bullshit designer crap per se; what annoys me is how this shit wants to put up some front of being down with the "streets." It's not even on a 'hood level -- it's just straight-up "Hey, rich kids! Let's earn Cool Kid Points with overpriced limited-edition footwear made by small hands in Third World countries!" If these jackasses really wanted to make "streetwear," that shit would actually be affordable so kids who don't drive to the city just to buy this bullshit could wear it. But no; these motherfuckers want to slap some ridiculous price tag on their bullshit clothing, probably some turquoise shirt with a hot-pink font jacked from a fucking shitty Hobie T-shirt I wore in second grade. Real cool, cocksmoke. Streetwear is fucking talltees and stunnas, not the latest pair of pink-and-green dunks designed by some bitchmade little fuck from Santa Monica who loves classic Freshjive design and thought wearing JNCO ten years ago was cool.

This is some of the dumbest bullshit I've ever heard. It's a bunch of privileged fuckheads trying to front like they on some next-level shit -- those motherfuckers you see all up on the Internet trying to front like they hard, throwing up some stupid-ass fashion posse signs while surrounded by a bunch of other frail-ass bitches with matching shoes and hats. Straight-up fuck that shit.

Originally published by East Bay Express