Sunday, April 22, 2012

If I looked like The Rock

I wish I looked like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.  If I did, I wouldn't think twice about approaching people to harass the living daylights out of them.  Photo via Zimbio

"I am quite sure you didn't mean to go around my car while I had my turn signal on and TAKE MY PARKING SPOT."

"I am quite sure you didn't mean to throw your cigarette butt on the ground."

"I need you to stop shooting your gun at the squirrels in the trees this instant."

"I am going to need you to shut your flapper about how much you hate your job, because I can't take your whining one more day."

"You in the skinny jeans.  They're not working for you."

"Your cat is going to end up a shawl if it doesn't stop pooping in my garden."

"Since you never bothered to use your turn signals I'm sure you won't mind if I smash them in."

"Don't talk down to me like I'm some ditzy sorority girl.  Give me my fruity mix drink."