Just be thankful you're not Kelly Slater! Am I shallow? Am I vain? Yes and yes! So I can totally understand how agonizing it must be for Kelly to lose his gorgeous thick brown locks and become a regular old bald surfer. (He's never been known for his sparkling personality...mostly for his looks and the fact he can ride a chunk of fiberglass pretty well.) Kelly used to be so hot that it would burn people's eyes if they gazed at him.
Now he looks like someones semi-hot, bald uncle that you wish you knew when he was in high school.
You're thinking that it could be worse for Kelly. He could be a newborn calf ripped from his mother, forced to stand for days in a decrepit pen
so small that he cannot even turn around, only to be slaughtered as veal. Or he could lie helpless on a cot in Vietnam suffering from the crippling birth defects of Agent Orange. Yes to all these things. At least the bastard can still surf!
Just be thankful you're not Kelly Slater! Am I shallow? Am I vain? Yes and yes! So I can totally understand how agonizing it must be for Kelly to lose his gorgeous thick brown locks and become a regular old bald surfer. (He's never been known for his sparkling personality...mostly for his looks and the fact he can ride a chunk of fiberglass pretty well.) Kelly used to be so hot that it would burn people's eyes if they gazed at him.
