Saturday, December 15, 2007

Hey lady, when are you due?

The comment, "you're ugly" isn't commonly heard, though it may be true. Thus, I believe the biggest diss one can give a woman is to ask her when she's due, when she's not even pregnant. My friends and coworkers have been asked this question and recounted the experience in horrid detail. These women range in size from 14 to 4. The best story I heard is when an amusement park operator stopped a ride and made a heavyset woman get off while shouting, "Pregnant women aren't allowed on this ride!" She grabbed him by his shirt collar and said never to assume a woman is pregnant unless he can see the crowning of the baby's head.

You've probably heard that blah blah blah actress Jessica Alba is knocked up by her boyfriend who she recently dumped...and with whom she recently reconciled. People are chatting up the internet with talk about her baby bump. If that's a baby bump, then I look 9 months pregnant right this very moment! If that's a baby bump, every woman I know looks like they're ready to burst. Sometimes I wonder whether young starlets are getting pregnant to stay in the limelight. Regardless, now if someone asks Jessica Alba when she's due, she has no reason to run home crying.